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In honor of Netty and Zany
> WHY AM I MARRIED?
>
> *************************************************
> You have two choices in life:
>
> You can stay single and be miserable,
>
> Or get married and wish you were dead.
>
> *************************************************
> At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
>
> "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
>
> "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
>
> *************************************************
> A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
>
> "Husband Wanted"
>
> Next day she received a hundred letters.
>
> They all said the same thing:
>
> "You can have mine."
>
> *************************************************
> When a woman steals your husband,
>
> There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
>
> *************************************************
> A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
>
> *************************************************
> A little boy asked his father ,
>
> "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
>
> Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
>
> *************************************************
> A young son asked,
>
> "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
>
> A man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
>
> Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
>
> *************************************************
> Then there was a man who said,
>
> "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
>
> And by then, it was too late."
>
> *************************************************
> Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
>
> *************************************************
> If you want your spouse to listen and
>
> Pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
>
> *************************************************
> Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life
>
> thinking they had no faults at all.
>
> *************************************************
> First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
>
> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
>
> *************************************************
> A Woman's Prayer
>
> Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to
> forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I
pray
> for strength, I'll just beat him to death.
>
> *************************************************
> AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE...........
>
> Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
children.
> A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they
> find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to
fit
> onto the bus.
>
> So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
> husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man
as
> he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a
piece
> of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
> crazy."
>
> The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
YOUR
> stick, we'd be riding the bus ... So shut the hell up."
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