men who think they are funnier then women

Girls--have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls

HOW DO U LIKE THEM APPLES?

very funny. Thanks.

your welcome. glad to see it put a smile on someones face!!

Funny, funny, funny. I'll have to read that one to the hubby.

Re: men who think they are funnier then women

[quote="zambonigrl79"]
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
quote]


WOW!!!!! two girls in one bed!!!!

Re: men who think they are funnier then women

[quote="NETMINDER"]

zambonigrl79 wrote:

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. quote] WOW!!!!! two girls in one bed!!!!

Thats exactly what I thought when I started reading it Netty!

I know Z-girl and that is why it is so funny to me!!

Re: men who think they are funnier then women

NETMINDER wrote:

WOW!!!!! two girls in one bed!!!!

Damn dude, I like you more everyday!

hardy har har Netty you only wish. That did occur to me after I posted it but I figured if people pulled their head out of the gutter long enough they would realize where it was going. We see who followed that.

where you been hiding at zgirl, long time no see

I have been here all week. Where you been. I finally got a desk job so now I have the net. Things have been great. What are you up too?

And if Netty is learking check your messages!

WORK WORK WORK

Re: men who think they are funnier then women

Plumbgd wrote:

NETMINDER wrote: WOW!!!!! two girls in one bed!!!! Damn dude, I like you more everyday!

Thanks man, you need to come down this weekend and watch the NAHL Playoffs between the Texas Tornados and the Texarkana bandits, it will be some great hockey..

Z-girl check your damn PM's

hey and we can rematch and Zany can see first hand me kicking your ass!!

Hey dumb ass check your messages!!

> A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
? > A half-gallon of 2% milk,
? > A carton of eggs,
? > A quart of orange juice,
? > A head of romaine lettuce,
? > A 2 lb. can of coffee,
? > And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
? > As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
? > check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items
? >in front of the cashier.
? > While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the
? > drunk calmly stated," You must be single."
? > The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but
? > she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed
? >single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing
? >particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off
? > the drunk to her marital status.
? >Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
? >you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
? > The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly"

zambonigrl79 wrote:

hey and we can rematch and Zany can see first hand me kicking your ass!! Hey dumb ass check your messages!!

Hello?!?

sorry Zany that was ment for Netty.

Re: men who think they are funnier then women

[quote="Cherrypicker"]

NETMINDER wrote:

zambonigrl79 wrote: FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. quote] WOW!!!!! two girls in one bed!!!! Thats exactly what I thought when I started reading it Netty!

ME TOO! Glad I wasn't the only one!