StoneMans's Smoking Rules

1.Always return my one hit'r when finished even if you think it looks cool

2.Smoke comes first,then groceries

3.Zippo must always be filled nightly

4.Whoever supplies the doobage for the session gets the first load.

5.Weed is generally passed in a clockwise rotation. However if the unanimous decision is made that the weed be passed in a counter-clockwise rotation before the session starts, that too is ok. Note: You cannot change the direction of the rotation in mid-session.


6.Whoever supplies the doobage also gets to choose the music. If the supplier does not want to choose the music, he can designate someone else to be the Maestro for the session.


7.If you get a new bag of weed, you must change the water in your smoking device before you smoke any of the new doobage. Having foul water can contaminate the flavor of the weed. This rule isn’t crucial for amateur weed smokers but for pro-style smoking, it is mandatory.


8.If someone smokes you out with some of their weed, regardless of the quality, you must sometime in the future smoke them out with some of your weed, regardless of quality. Don’t be stingy with your weed. What goes around comes around, don’t worry, everything comes out even in the end.


9.Thou shalt not turn down a toke ever. Unless of course the consequences of that toke are greater than the benefits. I.E. "If you smoke that, you’re not getting any tonight."


10.Don’t put your lips on the joint! There is a way to smoke a joint without it touching your lips. And when a joint gets "lipped" it is basically ruined. See moves to learn how to smoke a joint without it touching your lips.


11.When you toke on a joint, it’s puff-puff-give, don’t toke too much, no more than 1/8 of the joint. Any professional style smoker could put away half a joint in one hit, but they don’t out of courtesy. Show a little professionalism.


12.If the bowl gets clogged, usually the person it clogged on pokes it, unless of course you have a designated bong technician. This person will change the water, poke the bowl and pack the bowl. This person usually knows whose hit is next. Also, if the bowl clogs on you, you get automatic recompensation hits. This means, you get a free retry because of the previously faulty bonghit.


13.If you break someone’s bong you have to buy them a new one. This is the same for pipes, bubblers and anything else used for toking. It doesn’t have to be the same bong, it’s usually better to get them something different to start a new dynasty.


14.There are two versions of rule 11. Pro-Style and amateur. We’ll start with amateur.
After you have taken your toke off of a bowl of weed and you think there might not be enough herb left for another hit, you must notify the next person in the rotation of the possible cashedness of the bowl. A good warning would be: "Here ya go, I think it might be cashed."


15.Only pack what you can smoke. There is no reason to smoke brown half-cashed bud. The only weed you want to smoke is green. If your original packing wasn’t enough and you have some lung left, you can grab a little more greens and smoke that in a continuous hit. You cannot however finish a hit and say it wasn’t big enough and expect recompensations. All bongload additions must be performed before or during your bonghit. If what you packed was too much, and there is a little bit of browns left on the rim of the bowl, you should cash that after you exhale your original hit.
Don’t steal someone’s lighter. Always know what lighters you came with. If you do accidentally pocket someone’s lighter, make a mental note to bring it back to them. You’ll make more friends that way.


16.If you like the way someone took a bonghit, let them know. Examples of nice things to say to people after they have successfully ripped a good looking bonghit are: "Hey, good form dude!" or "Nice utilization!" or "Hey, that was a great bonghit!" People like bonghit feedback, and you will too after you get some yourself.


17.If you see someone doing something wrong, tell them which rule they are violating. And if they give lip saying something like "just let me smoke weed." Whip out the rules and say "if you’re gonna smoke weed, you might as well do it right." If you don’t tell them they’re doing something wrong, there will be no one else there to tell them, and they will continue to do it wrong.


18.If you spill the bongwater, you must clean it up immediately. This situation can be compared to a small fire. The longer you leave it alone, the more damage it’s going to do. The best way to clean up spilled bongwater is to immediately get a bath towel and put it on the affected area. Then step on the towel thoroughly to soak up most of the water. After it’s fairly dry, you still gotta deal with the smell. The best way to resolve this problem is grabbing a dryer sheet from the laundry room and rubbing it into the affected area on the carpet. This actually makes the carpet smell better than it did before you spilled the bong ;o]


19.He who rolls the joint gets to spark it up. It’s kinda like the guy who owns the cruise ship gets to smash the bottle of champagne against the hull.


20.If you can’t light your own bowl because you are just too stoned, or you’re just a retard, you must relinquish the lighter to someone who can get the job done. It is also suggested that you relinquish the lighter in like situations such as, you trying to hit a really tall bong. Sometimes it’s just the way the bong is built that makes you unable to light the bowl.


21.If you go to someone’s house to sessionize, it is common practice that you pack them a hospitality bowl. This bowl however does not have to come before your inaugural hit, as applied in rule #1.


22.Munchies and Drinks must be shared. Everyone likes to grub a little while stoned. And cotton mouth sucks.


23. Never Deny You Smoke

24. When traveling to Blazerville, be sure and take lots of cash. Those OKC players got the best smoke around.

25. Always remember: PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR!!

26.Always smoke before Breakfast,that way your sure not to have a busy day!


27.Never share your stash with a K-9 officer

Eagle Struck wrote:

26.Always smoke before Breakfast,that way your sure not to have a busy day! 27.Never share your stash with a K-9 officer

27a. Unless his dog is a great dane

28. Never make bets after smoking. You'll have to renig on them later.

29.Drinking and Smoking are always started Before 11am on Fridays!

30.Hide your weed in the Fridge under the ice trays

31. When smoking in vehicle, whoever rolls down window will be tossed out and set a foot. And all money on them turned over to driver to be used for munchies or strippers later down the road

32.All Hookers are used and dumped before the smoke is shown


33.

34. After hooker is used up and tossed out any smoke found on her is burned in a special hooker bong carried for such occasions.

35.ALways hide the fucking Doritos before your so called friends show up.

36.Never work for someone that would want a human to piss in a bottle

37.Never ever buy smoke from a black man

Hmm... I have to say I agree with all ya'lls rules except 37. Its kinda lame.